Pastor Mike's Weblog

Moses affirmed the value of the home as the primary learning place for children. In Deuteronomy 6:4-9, he gave parents specific instructions for teaching their children about God. What he said became a bedrock principle for Israelite families. They referred to it as the Shema, taken from the Hebrew word for listen. How important is listening? How often do we take the time to really listen to God, our children, or each other? As a pastor I want to use every method available to communicate God’s truth to my congregation. The average church attendee retains about 12%of what they hear from a sermon. When we add another sensory input (writing, seeing, etc.) the retention level jumps to 25%. Add a third and it leaps to 40%. Involve the listeners in the learning process and we retain over 50%.

How can we involve ourselves more in the process and activity of listening? Repeat what we hear others say to insure smooth communication of ideas, make notes and verify what we are hearing from our notes, and regular repetition of ideas are just 3 ways to improve our listening skills. How can we put this into practice with our families? With God? Using these suggestions will help us not only to hear, but to heed.

In Proverbs 4:3-6, a father communicated to his son about what really mattered most in life. Along the way God had opened his eyes to some valuable observations that shaped his perspective. The perspective God gave this father made him wise. Now he wanted to share with his son the wisdom he learned from God. For that reason this father appealed to his son to take the instruction seriously. In families everywhere, parents show on their faces the concerns they have for their children. But what do parents do about their concerns? This Bible passage shows parents how to transform their concerns into productive opportunities for their children to grow in wisdom. Parents start by reflecting on what they themselves learned from their own parents. Our children can take advantage of the wisdom God gave our parents and grandparents only if we take seriously our obligation to pass this wisdom along to them. They deserve to know this wisdom as they step into their futures.

As the father in this portion of Proverbs began to teach his son, he recalled the time when his own parents shared God's wisdom with him. The father quoted for his son what his own father had said to him a generation earlier. As he quoted his father's instruction, he probably emphasized the absolute necessity of keeping what he was about to teach the son. How is God's wisdom passed from one generation to another today? Of course, the answer lies with communication among the members of the family. For this reason, parents do well to make conversation with their spouses a priority in the home. By talking together, we glean what each other has learned about God and His ways with us. Also we can build strong relational bridges that can connect one generation with another within the family. How are you communicating what God has taught you through the years with your children? With others?

The ending passage in our lesson for this week is a sad picture. 2 Samuel 14 details a marked lack of communication between King David and his son Absalom. However, this breach did not begin here. If you read the scriptural account of David’s family life you will see that he did little to communicate with his family. As a result, his sons suffered and so did King David. The description of their meeting reflects a heartbreaking reality. Absalom's display of humility and David's fatherly kiss couldn't erase the damage caused by five years of silence that already had stunted their relationship. Because they had spent so many years without communicating with one another, their relationship suffered in the years to come, even to Absalom's death.

A lesson we can learn from this story is that when communication breaks down, so does the relationship of the people who won't talk to one another. Frayed emotions can lead to growing frustration, which can prompt all sorts of extreme responses leading to misconduct and destructive behavior. That's why communication between people must remain open for the relationship to grow stronger through the seasons of life.

This week, determine to share a faith story from your past with your family. Here are a few suggestions to help you along:

Storytelling Suggestions

• Show, don't just tell. Instead of "My grandpa loved me," try, "I loved the look on my grandpa's face when he winked at me in church each week."
• Think snapshot. Remember: "A picture's worth a thousand words!" Meaningful stories don't have to be long and detailed; bits and pieces hold power and potential.
• Draw a simple, aerial image of your backyard or neighborhood. Describe to your children the tree you used to climb, the personalities of your neighbors, the yards or fields you used to play in, etc.
• Take advantage of bedtime. Curl up on your child's bed and share with each other the best and hardest part of your day.
• Play the "Favorite Game." Pick a person or occasion and ask: "What's your favorite thing about going to Aunt Marge's house?" or "Tell me a favorite memory from summer camp last year."

Ideas for Sharing Your Faith Stories

Share a time you:

• were surprised by God as a teenager. 
• saw your parent's faith in action.
• failed a friend.
• shared the Gospel.
• overcame a fear as a child or as an adult.
• saw God at work in the life of someone you love.

Source: Brenda Jank, "Have I Ever Told You About...," Christian Parenting Today (online), Winter 2005. Available from the Internet: www.christianitytoday.com/cpt/2005/004/20.50.html